Sometimes Having Kids with High Verbal Abilities Is Not All It's Cracked Up to Be

Me, going into the bathroom last night to prepare for an evening engagement at the local bookstore:
"Okay, people! I am going to get ready now! I promise you, when I come out of this bathroom I am going to be BEE-YOO-TI-Ful."

Suzanne, who is five: "Yeah, but you'll still be OLD."