Show Me The Blood

That's what I tell my kids when they come to me with their problems when I am trying to write. Jane Austen was right never to get married and have kids, is all I can say, because I am dead certain that if SHE had had a seven-year-old turning up at her elbow approximately every 90 seconds to sigh heavily and say, "Mommmmm....." we would never have had Pride and Prejudice. I don't regret having kids, I can't imagine life without my kids, but there are times, and this is one, when I would really, really like to scream, "WOULD YOU PLASE JUST LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE FOR TEN MINUTES WHILE I FINISH A THOUGHT FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST?!?!" Instead, I say to them, "Come get Mommy if there is blood on the carpet or the cops are at the door," and they go away as if they have understood--when the reality is that they and I both know they will be back in less than five minutes with another Great Big Huge Honkin' Problem that only I can help them with.

In short, I've childproofed my office, but they keep getting in.

And here's the thing about parenthood: at this point, I have no idea if I am a) instilling a deep sense of worthlessness in my children, because some dumb magazine article always seems to be more important than them and their problems, or b) modeling for my children that you can be a mom and still use your brain--or what's left of it after childbirth.

I imagine that one day they will be discussing this with their shrinks. I only hope that I am still around to hear how it all turns out, because, man, I would really like to know myself.

Comments

[Rob Content]

Here's the peak oil blogger I most rely on, a 30-something mother of four in upstate NY:

http://casaubonsbook.blogspot.com/

I highly recommend "There Will Be Blood," an Oscar-nominated best film about how oil discovery fed hubristic ambition, made by my favorite young director, Paul Thomas Anderson.

Jenny and I are developing our old farm house and four acres to become a self-sustaining homestead--with help from our growing community of local friends and farmers. Keep us in mind for summer visits from the girls!

Love,
Rob

[cathy]

I am going through the same issues with my 3-year-old. Am I dismissing her in a harmful way, or am I teaching her that Mommy is a person, too, with things to do?

I have no healthy reference for these boundaries from my own family-of-origin.

All I know is that I mother used to smoke in order to get space from us because she knew we hated the smell so much. She admits that.

[Becky]

"Finish a thought ..."

Yep. I know what you're talking about. I've said those exact words and had that exact same ...

... er, what? ...

... dammit, now where was I?