I Am So Not Worthy

It is now 8:13 p.m. East Coast time, and it was approximately 2:45 p.m. when I picked up my six-year old at school. Two hours after that, her 10-year-old sister came in. In that five and a half hour period, I have learned that:

I "never" play with my six-year-old.

I have a heart made of ice because instead of playing with her I chose to talk to the computer repairman. This proves I don't love her.

I am negligent. I did not make sure that my six-year-old had boots for Boot Day tomorrow. And they said it was going to be Boot Day ON THE ANNOUNCEMENTS, which if I had been there in her classroom with pencil and paper taking notes, I would have KNOWN.

I have no fashion sense. The outfit I laid out for tomorrow to the six-year-old was rejected with thinly disguised horror. "Uh......" (sharp intake of breath) "...no."

I am incompetent. The 10-year-old comes home, looks for bread to make a sandwich and is outraged. "You haven't gone to the store YET?" Similarly, I have not yet gone to the craft store to purchase items she needs for her Halloween costume. And she has been waiting a whole DAY. For God's sake, what have I been DOING all those hours she is in school?

(Sigh.)

My problem is I just ignore this stuff, or pretend to ignore it, or just say "give me a break" without explaining to any of my offspring that the world does not, in fact, revolve around them, until eventually I become aware of the fact that I feel like pounding my fist into a wall. Which is what I could do at this moment.

That's it. No insights, no great thoughts. Just a rant. And I'm done.

Comments

[Virginia]

The title of your post reminds me of a song by Cheryl Wheeler called "Unworthy." It's a riot to listen to, especially when you're having a day like the one you described. (Even though she doesn't talk about kids in the song, she definitely gets the whole "unworthy" thing down.)

[Di]

I'm not worthy either. I think we are a silent majority!!! We shall rise up and take over the vocal minority who KNEW intuitively that it was book day, who do predictable things like grocery shop regularly, who are SO thrilled when their children FINALLY are disgusted with homemade costumes and want $15 costumes from Wal-Mart with plastic masks that make you sweat...

Anne Lamott has a great essay about this (can't remember the book and my book collection is three states away) wherein a spandex-shorts uber-Mom condescendingly tells Anne that she doesn't understand how she keeps forgetting what days are the early release days!!! Been there!